WICKED

wicked was AMAZING last night! despite crappy seats. it was amazing!
had good company and it was just generally an AMZING show! songs were
good, sings was good, music was good, acting was good, costumes were
good, stage was good etc….

one more week before xmas holiday… less than 2 months before exams…..

i have not much to blog about really….

i miss my old friends. but at the same time im not too bothered about
moving on either…. actually im not too bothered about anything at
the moment really…. hmm thats bad…right?

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A DAY IN A LIFE OF ME
BLACK & WHITE

one wednesday… my journey to uni… my lectures,,,and before going 360

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that was a good day…

as i was going through my medicine draw yesterday in search of something that will make my cold better.
i found myself reading everything in the draw…. looking at every pills and cream
i think im developing a real interest in pharmacy. im loving my job
atm. really enjoying myself and learning so much! going to go for some
customer training thing on saturday. hope it is not because they think
im crap at customer service :S

THE WORLD OF ME. MYSELF. AND I 

  • i get stressed out when the london transport fails to bring ME to uni on time
  • slow walking people are annoying because they block MY way
  • i am unwilling to spend MY money on others
  • dont talk to me as you are using up MY time
  • forget about your problems, listen to MINE
  • it’s MY bedtime. quiet time can wait
  • i care about what people think about ME
  • I dont care about you

a few things i say to myself alot recently. what have i become?? complete self absorbtion!!

i remember learning one of lifes most important lesson one easter camp.
IT IS NOT ABOUT ME

so easy to forget. so easy to just make everything about MEMEMEMEMEME

but when everything is about me. theres not much room for friends, family and God.

so lets make it…….

YOU. HIM. HER. AND GOD

 

LOOK! the COOLNESS of life when webcam WORKS
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o. and pierced my ear today :] it was ouch
AH I HAVE SO MUCH WORK TO DO. COME ON DO SOME WORK

DEFEATED

im allowing everything to get to me
london transport was the final straw
i cried on my way home
feel so defeated…. why am i allowing satan to attack me like this?

i know it was a joke….but it really made me think.
am i really that ‘un-nice’…
im always making fun of others…im always so rude.
is that how people really see me? someone who just isnt nice….
i know i shouldnt care about what other people think of me…
but the truth is i DO
what others think of me affects how i am…as much as it shouldnt
so who am i trying to be? i know im not nicest person on earth..
im short tempered… i get annoyed with everything….
it is sad to think that im just such a BLAH person

where is that captivating woman that i so long to be?
where is the kindness…the patience…the passion i so long to possess?

“When
we make those agreements with the demonic forces suggesting things to
us, we come under their influence.  It becomes a kind of permission we
give the enemy, sort of like a contract.”

BLAH 

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there was a seat next to you so i sat down
you were asleep in that ‘hospital use only’ robe
and your dirty red coat
i noticed you had a chinese hat on
you smelt really bad…. like garbage
i had to move away

when i sat back down opposite you
i noticed other people began to move away
but you were still asleep and did not see
i began to cry inside. tears filled up my eyes
God has broken my heart for what breaks His

do you have a home?
do you have a family?
when was the last time somebody hugged you?
what is your life like?
how did you end up like this?

God loves you just the same
if Jesus was there he would have sat next to you
hugged you, cleaned you
but me?
i moved away like many others


why is it that God can love you


why is it that God can love me




but i cant love you?

i’m sorry
i hope you are well tonight
i hope you are warm tonight